
When Emily and Jack shared their non-religious wedding script with us, we were amazed at how incredibly comprehensive it was: this secular wedding script includes ideas for musical suggestions and a beautiful secular marriage reading by Neil Gaiman. Instead of traditional wedding vows, they used the concept of "love notes", where Emily and Jack read short love messages they had written to each other.
If you are officiating for a friend, this is the ULTIMATE wedding officiant script! So if you're looking for some non-religious wedding ceremony ideas to steal, this wedding script is full of them... you won't find a single mention of prayer, Corinthians, holy matrimony, wedding band, or solemn vows. . Make your own variation, add your own promises or statements of intent, insert your own blessings and make it your own for your big day!
Processional Unit:
[Pachelbel Canon in D playing]
Officiant:
Welcome. At the couple's request, I ask everyone to turn off their cell phones and leave their cameras behind during the ceremony. The talented photographers who joined us today will capture and share these moments; we encourage you to enjoy the celebrations, without the distraction of technology.
[Stand By Me starts playing]
[The groom and his mother enter, embrace, the mother sits in the place of honor]

Officiant:
Please stand up for the bride
[The bride and father enter, they embrace, the father sits]

Officiant:
Welcome. Please sit down.
[to the newlyweds]
{Names}, we gather here today to celebrate the love you've found in each other and to support the commitment you're about to make.
Marriage is more than two people standing here repeating vows. There is a lifetime ahead of you and there are skills to be learned and practiced daily.
Part of marriage is finding happiness. Continue to look for the good, fun, and beautiful in this life to share with others.
Part of marriage is being flexible. So, in your marriage, cultivate flexibility, patience, and understanding, while maintaining a sense of humor and joy.
Part of marriage is companionship. Strive to comfort each other and develop the ability to forgive and heal your differences daily.
Remember that your love can always prevail in times of confusion. This will encourage them not only to learn and grow as individuals, but also to become stronger partners together.
Today, when you get married, there is a vast and unknown future stretching out before you. Today you enter as individuals, but you will leave here as husband and wife; their lives intermingle and they expand the bonds of their family and best friends. You are embarking on a great adventure, one that all of us here know you will succeed in.
[to guests]
{Names} are arriving to get married today, happy and surrounded by the people they love most. They and I want to thank you for being here today. They ask for your lifelong encouragement and support in their decision to get married.
The bride and groom would also like to give a special thanks to their families who have loved and supported them every step of the way."
Related Post
My Aggressively Non-Religious Atheist Wedding Vows and Ceremony Script
Our wedding ceremony was certainly what some might call "aggressively atheistic," and my bridesmaids noticed that some people looked...surprised? I think those who didn't know us very well expected us to do what our own parents did and opt for something more standard and semi-religious. We're certainly not in people's faces because of our atheism, but we wanted to be VERY clear about who we are and a wedding is a great time to make yourself known. Feel free to steal these atheist wedding vows!
Reading
{Boyfriend}'s sister, {Name}, will be joining us now to read Everything I Know About Love by Neil Gaiman.
This is all I have to tell you about love:anything.
This is all I learned about marriage:anything.
It's just that the world out there is complicated,
and there are beasts in the night, and pleasure and pain,
and the only thing that works sometimes
is to reach out in the dark and find another hand to shake,
and not be alone.
It's not the kisses, or never just the kisses: it's what they mean.
Someone protects you.
Someone knows your worst self and somehow doesn't want to rescue you
(Video) A Funny, Witty, Personal and Light-hearted Wedding Ceremony | Stonefields Estateor send for the army to rescue them.
It's not two broken halves becoming one.
It is the light of a distant beacon that brings the two safely home.
because home is wherever the two of you are together.
So that's all I have to say about love and marriage:anything,
like a book without pages or a forest without trees.
Because there are things you can't know until you try them.
Because no study can prepare you for joys or trials.
Because nobody's love, nobody's marriage is like yours,
and it is a path that can only be learned by walking,
a dance they can't teach you,
a song that didn't exist before they began to sing together.
And because in the dark you will reach out your hand,
not sure if anyone else is there.
And your hands will meet
and then none of us need be alone again.
Related Post
NEW Marriage Readings by Neil Gaiman
If you're familiar with writer and novelist Neil Gaiman, you already know that he's a super nice human being whose talent for the written word knows no bounds. Friends of his have asked you to write something touching for their wedding. We've seen the results of that effort and it's MAGICAL. Gaiman added a newly written wedding reading toyour personal websiterecently that we love it and can't resist using it as an excuse to round up our favorites. These are some of our favorite Neil Gaimans.wedding readings, including the NEW! Spoiler alert: it's about how he doesn't know anything about love (but he actually does)...
Signature of the Marriage License
Thank you, {Name}. I'd like to welcome {Groom}'s cousin, {Name}, to perform one of the couple's favorite songs as they sign the marriage certificate.

love notes
Officiant:
The bride and groom will now exchange some words they have written.
[The bride reads to the groom (200-300 words)]
[The groom reads to the bride (200-300 words)]
Exchange of rings/traditional vows
Officiant:
So are you ready to make it official?
[The bride takes the groom's hand to exchange vows]
Officiant:
{Groom}, do you take {Full Name of Bride} as your lawful wife, to have and keep from this day forward? For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, love and care, until death do you part?
Painful:
Sim.
[Bride puts ring on groom in exchange for rings]
[The groom holds the bride's hand]
Officiant:
{Bride}, you take {Groom's Full Name} the fifth as your lawful husband, to have and keep from this day forward; For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, love and care, until death do you part?
Bride:
Sim.
[The groom puts the wedding ring on the bride]

other and pronunciation
Officiant:
{Names}, came here today of their own free will and, in the presence of their family and friends, declared their love and commitment to one another.
By the power bestowed upon me by the Internet and the State of [your state], I now pronounce you husband and wife!
[Feeling Good starts at 0:33]
[BOOM BOOM] [First kiss as married]
[Congratulations! Laughter! Guests clap and celebrate]
[Couple leaves to start their new life together]
At Offbeat Wed, alternative ceremonies are our specialty, and we're here to HELP YOU OFFICATE A WEDDING! We just launched ourUnconventional Package for Wedding Officials, with nearly 200 pages of mandatory guidance on how to create and officiate a wedding ceremony - as unique as the couple is!
Guest post by:Emily e Jack
FAQs
What do officiants say at non-religious weddings? ›
Acknowledge all of the wedding couple's family and friends. Let them know how important their presence is. Honour deceased family members and remember absent loved ones (optional). We have gathered today to unite the couple in marriage.
What does an officiant say at a wedding script? ›Do you [Name], take this [woman/man/person] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to live together in matrimony, to love [her/him/them], comfort [her/him/them], honor and keep [her/him/them], in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live ...
What is a non-religious officiant called? ›A secular officiant is usually the best bet for couples who are non-religious or not affiliated with any religion. Also, couples of the same sex or different faiths may use secular officiants for their wedding ceremonies.
What do Officiants usually say? ›These can include words of welcome, passages about marriage, sharing your love story and giving your guests instructions for after the ceremony.
What does the officiant say at the beginning of a wedding? ›The only things that are must-haves/requirements are the declaration of intent (i.e. the formal “I dos” and legal acknowledgement that 'yes, I want to marry this person, and yes, I'm here by choice” and the pronouncement, whereby the officiant confirms the two are officially married.
What does the officiant say before you say I do? ›Woman answers, "I do." Notary states, "Repeat after me." To the man: "I, (his name), take you (her name ), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."
How long should an officiant speech be? ›It's then the officiant's job to get the bride and groom ready for their journey ahead. This message can be anywhere from 5-15 minutes, depending on the stories they tell and wisdom they inspire.
How do you introduce yourself as an officiant? ›The audience will want to know who you are and why you're up there. So, start by introducing yourself—briefly—and explain why you were chosen or how you know the couple. Then, share those two or three specific stories you brainstormed or crowd-sourced. And lastly, zoom out.
Who officiates a non-religious wedding? ›Some non-religious couples get married by a minister of religion, while others get married by a government official, such as a civil celebrant, judge, mayor, or Justice of the peace.
Who conducts a non-religious wedding? ›A humanist celebrant or humanist officiant is a person who performs humanist celebrancy services, such as non-religious weddings, funerals, child namings, coming of age ceremonies and other rituals.
Do officiants have to be religious? ›
Lastly, a wedding officiant is anyone who can legally officiate a marriage ceremony. In wider use, a wedding officiant often refers specifically to a non-denominational and sometimes non-religious official who carries no affiliation with a church.
What are examples of non-religious ceremonies? ›From exchanging wedding rings, to scattering ashes, rituals are part of humanist ceremonies of all kinds. Rituals typically involve one or more of the following: the reciting of specific phrases, the making of vows or promises, objects, gestures, music, songs, dances, and special food and drink.
How long is a non-religious wedding ceremony? ›Aim for a 15-20 minute ceremony if you're unsure, which is the perfect amount of time for a non-religious ceremony. Religious ceremonies tend to go a bit longer depending on your religion and the traditions you decide to include.
What are the responsibilities of a wedding officiant? ›One of the most important tasks of the officiant is to explain and define the flow of the ceremony, the rituals, the ebbs and flows, vows and rings, etc. - adding requests if necessary, and giving the couple a sense of time and space for that event.
How do you write a good officiant speech? ›Wedding ceremony speeches by officiants begin with a love story about the couple. You may also read a funny poem that makes meaning to the couple. Talk about love, commitment, and faithfulness. Say lines on commitment and ask them to repeat after you.
Do officiants give speeches? ›Marriage Vows
The wedding officiant speeches can include two options, depending on the type of ceremony the couple opts for. In a case where there are specific vows that should be included, the officiant will guide the partners to repeat the vows line by line.
Gracious God, our hearts are filled with great happiness on this the wedding day of NAME and NAME. They come before you, pledging their lives and their hearts to one another. Grant that they may be ever true and loving, living together in such a way as to never bring heartbreak into their marriage.
Who says u do first in a wedding? ›Traditionally, the groom says his vows first followed in turn by the bride. That said, some couples may choose to say them in unison to each other, and if you'd rather the bride go first, speak to your registrar or celebrant well in advance to see if it's something that can be arranged.
Do I introduce myself as the wedding officiant? ›Introduce Yourself As the Wedding Officiant.
Your introduction is your first opportunity to set the tone for your wedding officiant speech, so it's important to make it count.
PLEASE BE SEATED - the officiant should ask everyone to please rise or stand when the last person (the bride, or groom, or both) is walking down the aisle. They will typically kiss or hug a parent or loved one, then begin the ceremony. At this time, your officiant needs to tell everyone to be seated!
Does the officiant write the script? ›
As the officiant, you'll write the wedding script based on your conversation with the couple while also intertwining the themes of love, commitment, and marriage in some way.
Does the officiant say anything before the processional? ›Normally there is a separate piece of music for the Bride's processional, and the officiant will usually say “If everyone will please rise,” in order to invite your guests to stand.
How many words should a 10 minute speech be at a wedding? ›Typically English people speak at a rate of 100-120 words per minute (obviously varying depending upon the individual). So if you aim for a speech of approximately 700-800 words you're starting off right. This allows for gaps, pauses, and interruptions – but also with enough 'meat' to make it memorable.
What should an officiant wear? ›For instance, if you're officiating a black-tie event, a floor-length evening gown and a tuxedo are the best options, according to planner Lea Stafford. For cocktail weddings, midi-length or tea-length dresses and a suit and tie are elevated choices.
What does the officiant say before the kiss? ›The typical pronouncement from the big screen goes like this, “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!” It's when the officiant announces the marriage and sets the stage for the big smooch.
Who reads vows first? ›What is referred to as the traditional order of vows is simply the way wedding ceremonies have been performed in a patriarchal religious society for centuries; the groom says his wedding vows first.
What is the most formal way to introduce yourself? ›- “Hi, my name is __, and I'm a [job title] at [company]”
- “Let me introduce myself, I'm…”
- “Nice to meet you, my name is…”
- “I don't think we've met before — I'm…”
Traditionally, the emcee would say, “For the first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. John Doe!” or the more progressive, “Mr. and Mrs.
What is a person who marries you called? ›A wedding officiant is perhaps best known as the person who leads the ceremony. However, that's only part of their job. An officiant, whether secular or religious, works with the couple in the months before the wedding day to craft the ceremony, which may include personal vows, readings, music selections, and more.
Can you have a church wedding if you are not religious? ›It is your legal right to get married in your Parish church (and once you've attended 6 times you are considered part of the parish... We'll get onto that later.) You do not have to be baptised, Christened, or even part of the same religion.
Can a celebrant legally marry you? ›
Celebrants can support and guide couples in completing the necessary requirements for the marriage license, but don't have the authority to approve it. But they can officiate a far more bespoke ceremony.
Who can perform non legal wedding? ›Non legal ceremonies can be performed anywhere, by anyone, at anytime, but it's very popular, and often wise to use a trained celebrant. There is no need to be ordained by a random internet church (America anyone?!) as the ceremony isn't binding.
What is a non legal wedding called? ›A commitment ceremony is a marriage ceremony in which two people commit their lives to each other, but it isn't legally binding. Commitment ceremonies can even look the same as legally binding weddings, but at no point does the couple go off to sign paperwork and make the marriage legal by government standards.
What is the difference between a celebrant and an officiant? ›There is no difference between a wedding celebrant and a wedding officiant. Both write and perform wedding ceremonies. The only slight difference is where they are based with Officiants as the official name in the USA and celebrants more commonly used in Australia, New Zealand, Canada and UK.
What happens in a non-religious wedding ceremony? ›Non-religious weddings
There are no strict rules when it comes to a humanist wedding ceremony. You can have something that suits you as a couple, whether that's getting wed in a forest, a hotel or on top of a cliff. Your ceremony can include traditions and rituals, if you wish.
These are the familiar, “Do you take this person to be your lawfully wedded…,” and, “By the power vested in me… I now pronounce you married!” parts of the ceremony, respectively. So, you must ask the couple if they wish to enter the marriage contract, and they must verbally declare it so.
Can an atheist be ordained? ›(Don't be thrown by the names — even atheists are welcome to get ordained.)
What are the five types of ceremonies? ›- Civil ceremonies.
- A religious ceremony.
- Getting married abroad.
- Renewal of vows.
- Statutory ceremony.
Ceremonies for individuals are usually performed to mark a rite of passage such as Birth, Baptism or Naming, Coming of Age, Graduation, Marriage, Anniversary, Retirement, and death. Ceremonies are also performed at different times in our lives to celebrate an important occasion such as receiving a special award.
What are standard non-religious wedding vows? ›I, (Groom), take you (Bride) to be my wife, my partner in life, and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face.
How do I make my wedding not boring? ›
- Make introductions at the rehearsal. ...
- Stick to the schedule. ...
- Don't let guests go hungry. ...
- Plan an exit strategy. ...
- Consider your venue. ...
- Work your seating chart. ...
- Put a time limit on toasts. ...
- Bring in the entertainment.
First things first. Let's review the primary or traditional wedding roles! These roles are usually the first to be filled, as they ensure a much smoother wedding day. The majority fall under the category of wedding party roles, including the bride and groom, bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the officiant.
How do you become a wedding officiant? ›In order to perform marriage ceremonies in South Africa, you must be a member of SASS and have paid for at least three months of membership. Candidates must first go through an interview, provide three references, and pass a two-hour DHA exam (with a minimum pass rate of 75%) before being considered for a MO.
What to do at a non-religious wedding ceremony? ›- Light a candle. If you're blending families, use a candle with enough wicks so that everyone can individually light one.
- Remember loved ones. ...
- Bury a time capsule. ...
- Ask a guest to speak. ...
- Sing. ...
- Drink tea. ...
- Make sand art. ...
- Read from your journal.
Wedding ceremony speeches by officiants begin with a love story about the couple. You may also read a funny poem that makes meaning to the couple. Talk about love, commitment, and faithfulness. Say lines on commitment and ask them to repeat after you.
Does the officiant say the vows? ›Theoretically, they could still write their own and repeat after you, but typically the officiant provides the vows for this style.
How long should a non-religious wedding ceremony be? ›Aim for a 15-20 minute ceremony if you're unsure, which is the perfect amount of time for a non-religious ceremony. Religious ceremonies tend to go a bit longer depending on your religion and the traditions you decide to include.
How do officiants introduce themselves? ›The audience will want to know who you are and why you're up there. So, start by introducing yourself—briefly—and explain why you were chosen or how you know the couple. Then, share those two or three specific stories you brainstormed or crowd-sourced. And lastly, zoom out.
Who speaks first in wedding speeches? ›1. The Father of the Bride or Parents of the Bride. The father of the bride speech is often one of the most special and tear-jerking speeches at the wedding reception—and it's usually the first toast given. The father of the bride will typically start off by welcoming guests and thanking them for coming.
Do officiants come to rehearsal dinner? ›Your immediate families, the bridal party (including the parents of the flower girl and ring bearer, even if they're not in the wedding), any ceremony readers, and your officiant (plus his or her spouse, if married) should always be invited to the rehearsal dinner.
What are the best wedding opening remarks? ›
“Welcome to the most important day in the lives of [NAME] and [NAME].” “Today, promises have become permanent and friends have become family.” “Today is a celebration and we are here to celebrate with [NAME] and [NAME].” “Thank you for joining us today on such a wonderful occasion.”
Should officiant walk down the aisle? ›Officiant. The officiant can be given the opening spot in the processional and walk down the aisle first. Alternatively, the officiant can enter the ceremony from the side of the venue to take his/her place at the altar.
Who goes 1st in wedding vows? ›Traditionally, the groom says his vows first followed in turn by the bride. That said, some couples may choose to say them in unison to each other, and if you'd rather the bride go first, speak to your registrar or celebrant well in advance to see if it's something that can be arranged.
What does the officiant say about rings? ›I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness. As I place it on your finger, I ask you to wear this ring as a reminder of the vows we have spoken today. I give you this ring to wear with love and joy. As a ring has no end, neither shall my love for you.